The Adulting Lady

Is it being in the thirties or that they say the frontal lobe is fully developed, that makes one sit one day and contemplate their life? Particularly when it comes to career choices and where you want to be in the next couple of years? What I know is that it isn’t just me. We spent our lives looking forward to this stage of life – having a job we go to in our power suits and cute laptop bags, driving our cars that we worked hard to be able to buy. We worked hard to finally get to a point where we could fully rely on ourselves financially. A point where we can save and invest, get married and build families, comfortably pay for outings, and travel for fun. Now that we are firmly here, we ask, “Is my job and the people I work with enough to keep me happy for the next couple of years?” To this question, many answer “no”. What a pickle. At this point, we start anxiously thinking hard.

I’ve resolved that it is just part of life. It’s a journey of evolving, growing, being tested, and true self-discovery. If you are courageous, you jump in faith and do the work to get to a place of happiness. You find a new job elsewhere, upskill, start something new, and flourish in the process. If you are not, you live a misaligned life where you look accomplished to the outside gaze, but are dying slowly inside. Let’s touch on the latter. See, when you have the house, the car, the job title, and pay-slip, you have achieved what many out there long for. The job market and unemployment rate is on an all-time high, and just landing a job is the yearning of many around the world. So from this front, you are living a successful life for many. But many are trapped here. Every day they do tasks at their job they know fully well don’t make them happy. They enjoy it sometimes, when they wake up, choosing to be positive and just be grateful they get to live the life they do, but at the end of the day, it gnaws at them. The fact that they lack the courage to find what they love and to “job” that instead.

It is scary to walk out in faith. To grant yourself permission to discover what could make you truly happy. Perhaps if you are in this debacle yourself, you even worry that what you love can’t pay the bills, at least from where you’d be starting. That’s valid. Very valid in fact. But I’d like to encourage you to start thinking and planning what the first steps to take are, to get you to a place where you are not merely fearful, but hopeful and even excited at the thought of jumping in and doing what you love. You are worth it, trust me. So what will it take? Saving and investing for the first few months when you have no income, should you leave your job? Side hustling to earn more money? Speaking to people who can help support your next career move? Going to networking events? Searching for a new job? Do whatever it takes to get to the point where you can honestly say, “wow I love the work I do”!

I don’t mean to scare you, but I believe people can become less healthy as a result of staying in careers they know they should leave behind and in environments that are detrimental to their well-being. You have gotten this far with success, and you can still be successful. This time, you can do it with work that fulfills you. If you needed someone to give you permission to leave your fears behind, here it is. I am giving it to you.

May you sour!

Your fellow adulting lady.